Does having a ridiculously bad body mean you're a really good baseball player? If my research is correct, then yes. I'd like to explore the theory that perhaps corpulent baseball players have the necessary energy stores to get through the grueling MLB season.
Subject 1: Tony Gwynn
Mr. Gwynn had an amazing career. He wasn't always rotund but he did pack on some pounds as his career progressed.
Subject 2: John Kruk
Kruk put up very respectable numbers and he's also remembered for being a character, like when he walked off the field and into retirement (in the middle of the season) after he got the hit that raised his career average to .300. He also gets bonus points for the mullet.
Subject 3: Rich Garces, AKA El Gaupo
Wait, not that El Guapo...this EL GAUPO (and yes, this really is Rich Garces)
I know you're telling yourself that the guy in the picture can't really be an MLB pitcher, but Rich Garces actually had a pretty good career.
Subject 4: David Wells
Boomer is actually a terrific athlete and he had a fantastic career (including a perfecto), but the dude had a serious gut.
Subject 5: Cecil Fielder
Cecil was always on the verge of busting out of his uni, or hitting a 500 ft bomb out of old Tiger stadium.
Current star of the All Bad Body Team: Prince Fielder
Fielder is a lot of fun to watch as a player, and to paraphrase Ty Cobb: "he's run pretty well for a fat man".
Top All Bad Body Team Prospect: Brett Wallace
Wallace can absolutely rake and he's holding his own at third base. He should continue to move through the Cards system quickly.
I think it's pretty obvious that having a body conducive to premature heart disease helps provide the necessary energy to get through 162 games. Just because you like burritos and ice cream doesn't mean you can't go out and throw a perfect game...or be the best player ever.
Quite entertaining and informative as well
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! I look forward to reading much more... BUT, young Robert, you left out one of the all-time bad body pitchers in the form of legendary knuckleballer Charlie Hough. In a 25-season career, Hough posted a 216-216 record with 2362 strikeouts and a 3.75 ERA in 3801.1 innings pitched. His 216 wins is 78th on the all-time win list, tied with Wilbur Cooper.
ReplyDeleteSports columnist Randy Galloway approached Hough during spring training while Charlie was relaxing with a can of Budweiser and a cigarette. "Charlie" he asked, "aren't you supposed to be working out right now?" Charlie smiled and said "Galloway, I AM working out".
Classic.
The ol' Chuck Hough. He was a lot like a grandpa who happened to be a successful major league pitcher. I think he may be the only player to ever strike out Honus Wagner, out-duel Warren Spahn, and float a knuck to Barry Bonds.
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