'Tis the Season

Christmas is not just about family gatherings, gifts, and Red Rider BB guns nearly shooting out eyes, although I like all that stuff. The second chapter in the book of Luke recounts the birth of Jesus.

¹In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ²(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.)³And everyone went to his own town to register.

⁴So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

⁸And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.⁹An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. ¹¹Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. ¹²This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

As an aside, the distance from Nazareth to Bethlehem (where Joseph and his family had to return by order of Caesar, as it was the birthplace of Joseph) is approximately 80 miles; this was no easy journey for a family on the brink of having a child. After the birth of Jesus, men conspired to end the life of Jesus for a multitude of perceived transgressions. Ultimately, they were successful. We have holidays to remember that time, now is the time to celebrate the birth of our savior and reflect on the truly amazing gift we were given when God became flesh and entered our world as a baby boy who would eventually drink the sin of all humanity and show us how to have true life.

Worst Christmas Song Ever

Sorry for the hiatus, I've been a bit busy of late. It's Christmas time. Christmas season is an amazing time of year - people are more cheerful, cities and houses are festively decorated, and it's the time of year we celebrate the birth of Jesus. The day after Thanksgiving, people recover from their food comas, trample others to try to save a few bucks, and Christmas music starts playing on the radio.

This brings me to the point of my message. Today I was driving home and heard the worst Christmas song ever. It's called The Christmas Shoes and it's by the band NewSong. As I was driving home, the song came on. I thought "I like Christmas music, let's give it a listen." After the first verse, I thought "man, this guy sounds like the guy from Alabama...and this song is worse than any Darrell Hammond impersonation, which is really saying something." Anywho, as the second verse started, I felt something wet on both sides of my face. I thought this was strange so I reached up to my face to see what had happened. Then I realized what just occurred: MY EARS HAD VOMITED ON MY FACE! The song actually caused a violent reaction within my ear canals that resulted in my ears barfing. I was shocked and disgusted...not because my ears hurled on my face, but that a song this bad could actually happen.

Maybe I just don't get it. If you check out NewSong's Wikipedia page, you'll see the song inspired a NY Times Best Seller and was also made into the second most watched made-for-TV movie for 2002-2003. NewSong has made more money off this song than any song I've ever written, but I sleep well at night knowing I don't have vomiting ears on my conscience.